Words of wisdom from Homer Simpson

Here are some thoughts from that famous cartoon character, Homer Simpson, as collected by Graeme Newell's Marketing Ideanet newsletter:
(Marge and Lisa chime in, too.)

Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true.
- Homer Simpson

I don't have to be careful, I've got a gun
- Homer Simpson

It is better to watch things then to do them.
- Homer Simpson

Lets just plop them in front of the TV. I was raised in front of the TV and I turned out TV
- Homer Simpson

Good things don't end in 'eum,' they end in 'mania' or 'teria
- Homer Simpson

Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen
- Homer Simpson

Me Fail English? That's Unpossible!
- Homer Simpson

Oh, so they have internet on computers now!
- Homer Simpson

How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
- Homer Simpson

Do you want the job done right, or do you want it done fast?
- Homer Simpson

[R]omance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.
- Lisa Simpson

You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head.
- Marge Simpson

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.
- Homer Simpson

Here's to alcohol, the cause of - and solution to - all life's problems.
- Homer Simpson

You couldn't fool your own mother on the foolingest day of your life with an electrified fooling machine!
- Homer Simpson

You don't like your job, you don't strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.
- Homer Simpson

If something is to hard to do, then it's not worth doing.
- Homer Simpson

The problem in the world today is communication. Too much communication.
- Homer Simpson

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.
- Homer Simpson