Walking, anyone?

My friend Ben Viccari, commentator and champion of Canadian multiculturalism, sent me the following perspectives on walking. He credits these points to Dr. Donald Meeks, who was an instrumental leader at the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto until his retirement.

Dr. Meeks obviously has a sense of humour.
Here goes:

1. Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years of age to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7,000 per month.
2. My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we don't know where the hell he is.
3. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
4. The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
5. I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures outwhat I'm doing.
6. I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.
7. Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
8. I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately, my stomach covers them.
9. The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say, 'Well, he looks good doesn't he?'
10. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
11. I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years, just getting over the hill.
12. You could run this over to your friends but why not just e-mail it?
13. We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it, AND, every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, I look just fine.

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